NEW WORDS FOR 2005 -- Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary
1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps
on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles
6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
Cube farm, and people 's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going
on.
7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.
8. SITCOM: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to
stay home with the kids.
9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny.
10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
workplace.
12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying
but you find yourself unable to stop watching the m. The J-Lo and Ben
wedding (or not) was a prime example.
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above
the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed
to solve.
15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located.
16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscapes that are exactly the
same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and
subdivisions.
17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG m istake.
18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.
19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously breaking wind while passing through a
Cube Farm.
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