Re: Building Rapport

Art Post (Guest)

Building Rapport Part I ricohaficio

the art of networking: building rapport

You probably laughed when Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live told himself, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!" Think a moment, though: there's business wisdom in Stuart's confidence-boosting line.

The truth is, people prefer to do business with people they like. While you can establish instant rapport with some people via e-mail or a phone call, lasting rapport comes from face-to-face meetings. Why?

Only seven percent of what people communicate is conveyed verbally. That leaves an enormous amount of information people pick up from facial expression, voice tone, body language, appearance, posture, surroundings -- you get the picture.
Networking events -- especially after hours -- allow people to meet in a more casual, relaxed setting than business meetings. People see "the real you."
People drawn to professional associations or civic club meetings often have similar career interests and backgrounds.
For you, that's great news. Informality and context give attendees common ground. More importantly, networking events provide fuel for friendly small talk, a crucial element for building rapport with a new business contact.

One tip before we begin: Quality counts in rapport building. Don't aim to deplete your stock of business cards at a networking event. Rapport takes time. Cultivate two people an hour at most in these situations.

1/8/038:23 PM

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Art Post (Guest)

Building Rapport Part II ricohaficio
(43/M/Highlands, NJ) 8/31/01 5:24 pm
Seven Seconds to Affability

Do you know you make a lot of snap judgments about a person in the first seven seconds you meet him or her? Welcome to the club -- everyone does it. What can you do to leave the best impression in that brief interlude?

Good Grooming Counts

Mom was right. Tidy, well-pulled-together people are attractive to others.
Check out the event beforehand for hints on appropriate attire, then dress accordingly.
In fact, dress slightly better than the people you want to meet. Your appearance will signal, "I'm a credible professional . . . just like you."
Position Yourself for Maximum Exposure

Don't lurk at the edges of a gathering; you're out to network, soldier. Go where the troops are.
Place yourself in the center of the action or near a high-traffic area. Or stand close to, but not at a refreshment table. It's unwise to block people's access to the Brie and crackers.
Circulate the room looking for people to chat up, then step up to someone, ready to talk.
Four, Three, Two, One, Contact!

Make brief eye contact; hold a new person's gaze for about four seconds.
Give a slow, relaxed smile as you introduce yourself. That easy smile says, "Hey, I've checked you out, and I like who I see."
Strike and Hold the Right Tone

Keep your voice light and hopeful. Optimism attracts people.
Careful: Acting overly enthusiastic and glad-handing will make you appear phony.
Three Shortcuts to Rapport

Once you and your acquaintance have exchanged the basics of who you are and where you work, it's time to move to small talk, but it's small talk with a purpose. Now you want to establish rapport by presenting yourself as upbeat and fascinated by your new contact. Try three techniques in sequence to launch rapport.

1. Keep a "You" Focus

What's our favorite topic? Ourselves. We all like talking about ourselves. And we really like other people who are interested in us. Make this enlightened self-interest a prime rapport-building tool.

Focus on your conversational partner with comments that are positive and judiciously flattering. No need to fawn. But if you recognize the company your companion works for, comment, "Oh, I've heard a lot of great things about Spacely Sprockets. How are you enjoying your success?"
Listen carefully to learn what's important to your new acquaintance. If your companion says, "We're busy prepping for the spring sales show," ask where the conference will be hosted, what tips would he offer to a trade-show newbie, etc.
Listen to the speaker's word choices, too -- and reflect that diction back at her. If she mentions "just closing a deal at work," don't respond with, "Permit me, madam, to summarize our firm's most recent contractual agreement." You'll come off as snooty. Talk like your conversation partner talks. Use key words and phrases that are similar to hers.

1/8/038:24 PM

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Art Post (Guest)

2. Ask Strategic Questions

You've probably noticed that questions are essential in the art of rapport. Still, you don't want to leave new acquaintances wondering if you moonlight as a police interrogator. For the first few minutes of your conversation, make your questions generic yet relevant to the situation.

Pose questions about the event. Ask about the speaker, the hosting organization, the history of such events, and so on.
Pose questions that expand on a comment your companion has already made. Ask how recently Ms. Dealmaker closed the deal or what advice Mr. Tradeshow would give to a newbie.
Keeping these strategic questions in mind will help keep conversation on the small-talk level while maintaining the "you" focus. With attentive listening, you will be ready to respond with the third shortcut to rapport.

3. Use "We" Talk

Once conversation flows, add "we" to the dialogue. References to "we," "us," "our industry," "our community," and "our economy" are powerful ways to build affinities that bolster rapport. These pronouns subtly cue your conversational partner to recognize that you two have much in common -- you have rapport. Try it. "We" works!

Next time you find yourself faced with a roomful of strangers, try some of these tips and adapt them to your own style and see what works for you. Who knows? As you stride away after swapping business cards, you might overhear your companion tell a friend, "I like that person, doggone it."

1/8/038:26 PM

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